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If Girls Used Pick-Up LinesAn actual conversation. Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: It's ok. Caffeine will do the trick. Booty Buff: Alright, BOYS like GIRLS. YOU are a girl. HE is a boy. I see no problem. Booty Buff: Don't let drugs do all the dirty work Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: lol, ok. Booty Buff: What boy wouldn't want to be dragged into a dark corner by a girl? And why would you want to be with him if he didn't? Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: That one's true. Booty Buff: Of course it's true! Besides, it's easy. I mean, how hard can standing in a dark corner bE? Booty Buff: (trust me, it's not!) Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: Ok, ok. Booty Buff: Or, you could take "I snap my fingers and you do what I say" approach...but I'd just go for the "lets go somewhere else" tactic. Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: That'd be cool, too...walk outside (it's inside, some tiki torches might be put up) Booty Buff: *breathe on torch* "Oops, did I blow out that tiki torch? Oh no! It's so dark! Hold me!" Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: lmao Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: *kick up some leaves* "omg, what was that?" Booty Buff: "I'm so scared. I need comforting." Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: That would work.... man, some of the guys I know would be the ones needing comforting. I'm so glad he's.... strong. Booty Buff: *Lock door* "Oops, we accidently got locked out! Oh my! We'll have to stay out here in the dark." Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: "Whoops! Looks like we'll have to stay out here by ourselves" Booty Buff: Oh yes, and go for the muscle feel too...* **ACCIDENTLY** bump in to him* "Oops, I didn't mean to...oohhhh what strong muscles you have! Can I feel them?" Booty Buff: "Oh no! What are we going to do! All alone, out here, in the DARK, BY OURSELVES?" Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: That would work...clutch his arms while I drool Booty Buff: I'd leave out the drool part...slime might not be a turn-on for him Booty Buff: Of course, you never know... Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: It's involuntary, sorry. Booty Buff: "Oops, did I drool on you? I'm so sorry… Let me lick that up for you!" Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: I would! Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: Without hesitation Booty Buff: *Accidentally trip* "Oh no! I've scraped my knee. Would you kiss it and make it all better?" Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: *Hit a tree*..."agh, my eye! Can you look at it and see if there's something in it?" Booty Buff: *Fall down and pull him down with you* "Gee, how did you end up on top of me? Oh no, I broke my leg and I can't get up!" Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: For something really outrageous- get on the swings and fall off backwards. Booty Buff: THAT would impress him Booty Buff: "Aah, I fell down! Come down here and help me" Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: Yep. Especially if I screamed on the way down, and played dead for a sec. Booty Buff: "Help! I'm dying! Perform CPR on me!" Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: "NOW!" Booty Buff: "SAVE ME! I NEED YOU!" Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: "I need your mouth! I mean, uh, breaths!" Booty Buff: "IT'S NO USE, YOU MIGHT AS WELL KISS ME GOODBYE!" Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: Or, I could get my butt stuck on the kiddie slide Booty Buff: *open eyes, look amazed* "Your kisses are bringing me back to life! Kiss me again!" Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: lol, interesting timing Booty Buff: LOL...." I'm stuck!" Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: "Pull me, baby, pull me off!" Booty Buff: "It's not working! Pull harder! Wait, I'll grab on to you" Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: or, compromise: "you wanna get stuck on here, too?" Booty Buff: "look, you're stuck... I think the only way to get unstuck is to take off your clothes!" Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: and get out the lotion! Booty Buff: "it looks like I'll have to massage you out...there's no choice" Poor Un-bootyfied Friend:"it's our only hope!" Booty Buff: "gee whiz, it's working! You'll have to massage me out." Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: oh, the possibilities. I think I'll print this convo out and take it with me for ideas. Booty Buff: and show it to him! Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: or just look at it when I forget something good to say Booty Buff: *drop list* "look what I found on the ground! Hmm, very interesting. Hey, I think it's a play! Let's act out what they are saying." Poor Un-bootyfied Friend: lmao! Booty Buff: in fact, I think I'll save this list. |