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Pick-Up Lines for Guys

Note: if you see any repeats in here, please let me know.
  1. Hey baby, you wanna go to my place for dinner... and maybe some breakfast?
  2. Should I call you in the morning, or just give you a nudge?
  3. your feet must be tired, cuz you've been running through my mind all night long
  4. Nice shirt...it would look better crumpled up on my floor in the morning.
  5. (Walk into her chest) "If they weren't so large, it wouldn't have happened.
  6. Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!
  7. Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
  8. Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
  9. Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
  10. Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?
  11. Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!
  12. Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
  13. Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
  14. Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.
  15. Hey, I know you! You were Miss Maryland last year, weren't you?
  16. I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
  17. I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
  18. I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
  19. I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
  20. I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven.
  21. I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
  22. If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
  23. Just where do those legs of yours end?
  24. Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous!
  25. So, what do you do for a living besides always making all the men excited and warm all over?
  26. Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess(or prince) like you!
  27. Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons!
  28. Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
  29. Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
  30. Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
  31. What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!
  32. Wow! Are those real?
  33. Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming.
  34. You are the reason men fall in love.
  35. You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
  36. You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
  37. You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.
  38. You look like my third wife. (Oh, how many times have you been married?) Twice.
  39. You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
  40. You should be someone's wife.
  41. You're ugly but you intrigue me.
  42. You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.
  43. Oh my sweet darling! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
  44. Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?
  45. Hey, You were great on Bay Watch last night!
  46. If you have a chance to become anything on earth what would you want to become?" [the answer] you: " well to me, I want to be your teardrop: I was born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
  47. Babe! you look so fine I could drink your bath water!
  48. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
  49. I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
  50. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
  51. You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.
  52. Baby, you so flat you make the walls jealous.
  53. If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.
  54. I bet you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
  55. I bet you could suck Lincoln's head off a penny.
  56. Gee, for a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
  57. Excuse me..... Hi, I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you...
  58. If God made any thing better than you, he kept it for himself.
  59. Guy: Sorry, but you owe me a drink. Girl: Why? Guy: I looked at you and dropped mine.
  60. Girl, if I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!
  61. There must be a light switch on my forehead because every time I see you, you turn me on!
  62. Damn, I thought "very-fine" only came in a bottle!
  63. Your dad must have been retarded, 'cuz you are special.
  64. Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good?
  65. Damn girl, you have more curves than a racetrack.
  66. If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
  67. Damn, if being sexy were a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
  68. Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
  69. If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
  70. I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!!
  71. I betting that you cannot wait until tomorrow, because I bet that you get more and more beautiful every day.
  72. You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.
  73. You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.
  74. Are you a tamale? 'Cause you're hot.
  75. You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
  76. I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.
  77. Most people like to watch the (i.e. World Cup, Stanley Cup, Superbowl, NBA playoffs, etc..) cuz it only happens once a year/every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone like you only happens once in a lifetime.
  78. Where's your paper bag? (What?) Your paper bag to put over your head. (Excuse me?) It's dangerous for someone like you to be out in public with all of these horny people around. Don't worry, I'll protect you.
  79. When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor...so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
  80. Has anyone ever told you that you have Scandinavian hands? (Uh, no.) No, of course not, that would be an incredibly stupid thing to say, wouldn't it?
  81. Excuse me miss... Is your face so messed up because you fell from heaven.
  82. Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)
  83. Do you bleach your teeth? 'Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark. Let's go prove it.
  84. Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.
  85. Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
  86. Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
  87. Do you go the ocean much? 'Cause you smell like the CLAM!
  88. Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
  89. I'm sorry, but, have we met before? (No.) Oh, I'm sorry, I guess that it must have been your mom.
  90. Baby, you're so hot, you make the equator look like the North Pole.
  91. You're a babe, right? Haven't you seen the film?
  92. Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
  93. Even though the ugly lights are shining bright, you still look beautiful.
  94. Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
  95. Baby, I'm an American Express lover.... you shouldn't go home without me!
  96. Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
  97. Can I flirt with you?
  98. Can I please be your slave tonight?
  99. Can I see your tan lines?
  100. Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
  101. Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl in This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
  102. Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.
  103. Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
  104. Do you wash your panties with Windex? Cuz I keep seeing myself in them.
  105. Excuse me, ma'am, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
  106. Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
  107. Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say, "Hi Laura!" She says, "I'm not Laura!" And you say, as your hand slips a little lower, "But you sure feel like her!"
  108. Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" She says no. Then wink.
  109. God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.
  110. Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
  111. Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
  112. Hey baby, are you a glove? NO? Well, I am, wanna wear me?
  113. Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
  114. Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
  115. Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption.
  116. Hi, I'm new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?
  117. Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
  118. Hi. Are you legal?
  119. Hi. You'll do.
  120. How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
  121. How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
  122. I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?
  123. I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
  124. I wonder what our children will look like.
  125. I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast one.
  126. I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
  127. I'm an organ donor, need anything?
  128. I've got a condom with your name on it.
  129. I've got a pimple on my butt, wanna see it?
  130. I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?
  131. If I gave you a sexy negligée, would there be anything in it for me?
  132. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
  133. Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
  134. Lie down. I think I love you.
  135. Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
  136. Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
  137. Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.
  138. Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?
  139. So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
  140. So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
  141. That dress looks great on you... as a matter of fact, so would I.
  142. There are 265 bones in the human body. How'd ya like one more?
  143. Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
  144. Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.
  145. Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?
  146. Wasn't I supposed to eat you somewhere?
  147. What do you like for breakfast?
  148. Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
  149. Will you marry me for just one night?
  150. Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
  151. Would you like to come to a party in my tool shed?
  152. Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
  153. Would you please come home with me and tie me up...
  154. Ya know, my mother would just love you if I brought you to my place tonight and then to her place tomorrow.
  155. You have pretty eyeballs. Of course, they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
  156. You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
  157. You know, I've always wanted to sleep with you.
  158. You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
  159. Your legs look cold. Do you want me to warm them up?
  160. Hey baby...mind if I take my pants off?
  161. I love you, you know.
  162. HEY!!! KITTEN HOW ABOUT SPENDING SOME OF YOUR NINE LIVES WITH ME?
  163. If I let you suck on my tongue, would you be grateful?
  164. Have you ever played spank the brunette..... wanna try?
  165. Are those lumberjack pants your wearing? They are giving me a wood.
  166. Do you like whales? Well I have a humpback at my place.
  167. Girl, yo' so fine, I wish I could plant you and grow a hole filed of you!
  168. You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.
  169. Is your last name Gillette, it must be, because you are the best a man can get.
  170. I have a six-inch tongue and I can breath through my ears.
  171. HEY BABY, AS LONG AS I HAVE A FACE YOU'LL ALWAYS HAVE A PLACE TO SIT.
  172. Hi. Can I domesticate you?
  173. Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited!
  174. Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?
  175. If you were a car, I'd wax you and ride you all over town.
  176. Your belt looks extremely tight. Let me loosen it for you.
  177. Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
  178. "Excuse me, but you dropped something back there" Woman: "What's that?" You: "This conversation, lets pick it up later tonight."
  179. I've been a bad boy/girl, so spank me!
  180. Say Baby do you mind if I hangout on your stomach for a half an hour or so?
  181. I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?
  182. Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits
  183. You say, "So, did you here the one about the guy and the girl who had the most sexual relationship?" The reply, "No." You respond, "Well then, let's go to my place and I'll tell you all about it."
  184. Excuse me, do you have any Benadryl? No why? Because every time I look at you I have swelling down there!
  185. Let's let only latex stand between our love.
  186. (Walk up to a girl and lick two fingers and place them near her crotch. Then place the fingers back in your mouth and say . . . ) I know you!
  187. So baby, do you see why the girls call me tri-pod?
  188. Um...I need a little help with my Calculus, can you integrate my natural log?
  189. There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.
  190. If you had some nuts on the wall, would they be walnuts?(yes). If you had some nuts on your chest, would they be chestnuts?(yes) If you had some nuts on your chin, would they be chinnuts?(yes) Hell no, you'd have a dick in your mouth.
  191. Do you like chips? Because if you are frito lay than I am a barrel of fun!
  192. I heard your ankles were having a party... want to invite your pants down?
  193. Come over here and get a taste of America's Most Wanted.
  194. Hi. My name is Laura. I'll be your play toy tonight.
  195. Did you know that I saved a girl's life last night? (No.) I pulled a 6-inch piece of meat out of her mouth to save her life. Can I save your life?
  196. You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don't even own a car.
  197. Do you mind if I end this sentence in a proposition?
  198. How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilized?
  199. Hey babe- pretend my pants is France and invade them.
  200. Are you a virgin? (No.) Prove it!
  201. Hey baby, I'd like to herd by cattle in your fertile valley.
  202. Hi. I'm a dog and I need to bury my bone.
  203. Let's skip all the bullshit loses our inhibitions and DO what we really came here to do.
  204. You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
  205. Do you live on a chicken farm (girl says no) well you sure know how to raise cocks
  206. Excuse me, but you have a "dick for" on your head. [What's a "dick for?"] I'll show you.
  207. Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?
  208. Hi, sorry I don't have an opening line but since you have an opening and I have a line. . .
  209. What'll you say we make like Winnie-the-Poo and I can get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
  210. Do you wanna box? [Yes.] Well, get on your hands and knees and give me two blows to the head.
  211. Pick a number between 1 and 10. Shit you lose now take off your clothes.
  212. Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.
  213. What is your first name? Hmm, that goes kinda well with my last name. (switch if female asking a male)
  214. I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
  215. If I were a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
  216. (wiping your face), Oh I'm sorry, (wiping your face), let me clear a place for you to sit!
  217. Hey I see your wearing clothes, I'm wearing clothes, you know we have something in common we should get together and do something sometime.
  218. Is your boyfriend/girlfriend here? Is s/he on the roof? (No.) Then let's go to the roof!
  219. Wanna play "kite"? I lay down, you blow, and we'll see how high you can make me.
  220. My bedroom has a very interesting ceiling. . .
  221. I'm easy, but it looks like you are hard.
  222. Do you have room in your life for another friend?
  223. Nice pants, can I test the zipper?
  224. Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
  225. Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven't got any, how about a cock?
  226. Do you believe in the hereafter? Then you know what I'm here after.
  227. If I were to borrow your glasses, could I see you home?
  228. Could you tell me where they keep the rutabagas? Oh, thanks. Oh, by the way, what is a rutabaga?
  229. I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.
  230. I wanna take out your pencil and stick it in my pencil case.
  231. I wanna take out your golf clubs and score a HOLE in 1.
  232. If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep in until the afternoon.
  233. Hi. I'm horny.
  234. Excuse me, but you've got a Wild Blocost on your shoulder! (What's a Wild Blocost?) How much do ya got?
  235. You know, I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.
  236. You look like my type: nice hair, beautiful eyes, amazing body, but there is still just one problem: your clothing. (What's wrong with my clothing?) They're still on.
  237. So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?
  238. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
  239. Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
  240. You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
  241. Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
  242. [Look at her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?"] Checking to see if you were made in heaven. OR: Checking to see if you're the right size.
  243. If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
  244. Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
  245. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.
  246. I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
  247. [Grab her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
  248. You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?
  249. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
  250. You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
  251. Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.
  252. That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
  253. Do you want to see something swell?
  254. [Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.
  255. I'd look good on you.
  256. I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
  257. Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
  258. There must be something wrong with my eyes; I can't take them off you.
  259. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
  260. Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
  261. HI! Can I buy you a car?
  262. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
  263. Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
  264. Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."
  265. Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
  266. Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?
  267. Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? [Slap] HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
  268. Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?
  269. I am a magical being, take off your bra.
  270. My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream.
  271. Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.
  272. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
  273. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?
  274. That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.
  275. I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
  276. I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
  277. Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
  278. NOW, BITCH!
  279. Say, did we go to different schools together?
  280. Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?
  281. Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
  282. Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.
  283. I had a friend who used to hand out phone cards that said: "Smile if you want to sleep with me." And watch them try to hold back their laughter.
  284. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
  285. What do you like for breakfast?
  286. Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
  287. Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.
  288. Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?
  289. If I followed you home, would you keep me?
  290. Wanna fuck like bunnies?
  291. Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
  292. Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?
  293. Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
  294. Your place or mine?
  295. Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven's a long way from here.
  296. Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
  297. I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
  298. Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
  299. Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.
  300. If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
  301. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.
  302. Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk?
  303. What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
  304. How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
  305. Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.
  306. I'm easy. Are you?
  307. Are we related? Do you want to be?
  308. Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
  309. I'm leaving this place...want to cum?
  310. Come on, you can't get pregnant again.
  311. Why you've got the whitest teeth I'd ever want to cum across!
  312. If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you.
  313. What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
  314. I am conducting a feel test of how many woman have pierced nipples?
  315. Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tacs?
  316. Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?
  317. Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
  318. You smell wet. Let's party.
  319. Pardon me miss, but I help noticing that you have cum in your hair.
  320. Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
  321. Walk over to a table occupied by ladies, whip out your `pud' and say: Hey Charlie, see anyone here you recognize?
  322. I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
  323. No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
  324. Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
  325. Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
  326. What's your sign?
  327. You have the ass of a great artist.
  328. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
  329. Let's take a shower together -- you smell.
  330. I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.
  331. If I were Elvis, would you screw me?
  332. Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
  333. Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)
  334. Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
  335. What was that sound?" "It was the sound of my heart breaking.
  336. I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?
  337. Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.
  338. Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.
  339. Have you ever played leapfrog naked??
  340. I'll bet you 100 bucks that you couldn't get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.
  341. Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire?
  342. Would you like to see me naked??
  343. Do you like chicken? Suck this it's foul!
  344. Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blowjob? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?
  345. I feel like Richard Gere, I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.
  346. Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?
  347. Do you spit or swallow?
  348. So....How am I doin'?
  349. I would give you a piece of my mind but I have much more of something else.
  350. Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
  351. I would kill or die to make love with you.
  352. Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
  353. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
  354. Hey baby, let's go make some babies.
  355. I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
  356. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
  357. All those curves, and me with no brakes.
  358. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
  359. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK
  360. I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
  361. I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
  362. I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.
  363. Free mammograms, get your free mammograms here, get 'em while they're hot!
  364. Do you come here often?
  365. Where do you live?
  366. Hi. I'm Big Brother. I've been watching you...
  367. Where have you been all my life?
  368. Would you like to join me in the Bahamas next week?
  369. Think you can dance in those shoes?
  370. (Walk over to her)"Ok, you can stand next to me, as long as you don't talk about it."
  371. Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you."
  372. Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
  373. I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.
  374. I know a great way to burn off the 300 calories in that pastry you just ate.
  375. When she asks, for a match. How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
  376. A woman asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"
  377. At the office copy machine. "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
  378. Say mother, want another? (if she has kids)
  379. You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
  380. My face is leaving in 10 minutes. Be on it.
  381. Hey I am a wrestler, let me take you down.
  382. Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
  383. What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
  384. I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
  385. Wow! Are those real?
  386. Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
  387. You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.
  388. I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
  389. Do you take it up the ass?
  390. Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just glad to see me?
  391. What would you do if I kissed you right now?
  392. I'm drunk.
  393. You know, I'd really love to fuck your brains out, but it appears someone beat me to it.
  394. Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
  395. Hey baby, let's go back to my place and get something straight between us.
  396. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
  397. (Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
  398. I'll suck you so hard that you'll have to pick the sheets out of your ass when I'm finished.
  399. Will you marry me and have my children?
  400. I want to thank you for [insert any event here], grab your ankles bitch!
  401. Ya know, if we cut your arms off, you'd look just like Venus de Milo.
  402. Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
  403. That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
  404. Can I see your tan lines?
  405. I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.
  406. You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
  407. (leaning over to whisper) I think about you when I masturbate.
  408. I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so you might as well be there.
  409. I'll bet you $50 I could get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.
  410. I'm sorry I'm an artist and it's my job to stare at beautiful women.
  411. Hi. You'll do.
  412. Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous!
  413. Your name is Sandra, huh? Can I call you Sandy? Really, what time?
  414. Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
  415. Have you seen (any movie)? Would you like to?
  416. If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
  417. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
  418. That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
  419. (With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings.
  420. Pardon me, are you in heat?!
  421. You know, I never was to good at math...like if I put you and I together, I'd get 69.
  422. You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
  423. Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons!
  424. Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
  425. I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
  426. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
  427. When she asks, "What do you think of this (dress, sweater, blouse, etc.)" Say: I like nothing better.
  428. At the dinner table, if you eat together, pick up the bread and ask, "Wanna roll?"
  429. (Good looking waitress pouring a drink) Say when! As soon as I finish this drink.
  430. "hey pretty thing, are you looking for a job?" (No.) "well I'd like to have you on my staff anyway!"
  431. "just call me milk because I do the body good."
  432. "baby, you're looking phat!" (what?) "P-H-A-T: pretty hot and tempting!"
  433. "if I jumped on your back, would you beat me off?"
  434. "do you work for UPS?" (no, why?) "because I saw you checking out my package!"
  435. "can we play house?....you be the door and I'll slam you!"
  436. "come and sit on my lap and we'll get something straight between us!"
  437. "I seemed to have lost my virginity, can I have yours?"
  438. "do you want to play elevator?" (what's that?) "it's up right now, wanna go down on it?"
  439. "would you like to play Pearl Harbor?...I'll be America, you be Japan and blow the hell out of me!"
  440. "I lost my teddy bear, would you sleep with me?"
  441. "sit on my face and I'll eat my way to your heart!"
  442. Hey baby, what do you say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?
  443. Is your father a terrorist? Cause you da bomb!
  444. I’m glad I have my library card, cause I'm checking you out!
  445. Wanna go out for dinner and a movie? (sure) By that I mean me eating you and us filming it.
  446. (Point to left leg) This is the 4th of July, and (point to right leg) this is Christmas. Why don't you visit between the holidays?
  447. I have a pick-up truck and a six pack...let's go.

Comments? Suggestions? Email me.